One of My Favorite Christmas Memories

This is one of my favorite Christmas memories. It may not appear to be much to you, but it created in me a feeling of utter peace and calm and therefore reflects what I believe Christmas is about.

As a teenager, as many teenagers are, I was somewhat estranged from my family. In some ways my friends became my surrogate family and we were all very close. One close friend in particular, Gabe ( see the previous blog posting of this same name ) often spent important holidays with me and my family, and so it was this particular Christmas when I was about 15 or 16.

Gabe had come over on Christmas Eve and, to get away from the glaring eye of my parents, he and I went to one of our favorite haunts, Our Lady of Mercy School, or OLM. OLM was a small catholic elementary school just about a minute or two from my house. There was a small swing set and some other playground equipment which we would hang out upon and which became the epicenter of our childhood world.

It was easy to get to too, as we would cut through my backyard, the backyard of a neighbor or two, hop a couple of chain link fences and we were there. Hopping the fence was easy as we had identified several well placed trees in advance. We would jump up, grab a branch, put our feet on the fence, swing over, grab another branch and drop down. With practice we could bop over the fence in one well placed smooth motion. While generally, this was simple to do, I did have several pair of jeans with the telltale “L” shaped tear indicative of the sharp fence top which waited to hurt you if you were the slightest bit careless. We had several secret routes such as this and in the way we traveled about town, using routes closed to adults. I am sure my parents were happy to see us go out this night so that we were out from under foot and never questioned where we were going, what we were doing or how long we would be gone, even though it was so cold out.

This Christmas Eve came upon us cold and sharp, but clear and dark, with the stars bright pinpoints of light like you might see in the movies. A crusting of snow covered the ground, dampening all sounds as snow does; making the world seem small, the white snow reflecting and juxtaposing the seemingly endless sky.

The temperature hovered in the mid-twenties and the chains, bars and rubber seats of the swing sets might as well have been carved from the ice and snow itself. I guess it was about 10pm or so as we made our way over to the school, I guess talking about what all young men talk about, sports, girls, school, etc.

My personal favorite piece of play ground equipment was the swings and it had been for my entire childhood. I could easily swing away an entire day without care, pretending to be a spaceship, airplane, or race car.

While it was cold, the temperature ceased to be a concern and soon I was fairly comfortable as I acclimatized to the evening chill. In this way, Gabe and I swung and swung, gibber gabbing away about everything and nothing. To this day, while this memory remains, the topics of our conversation has since well left me.

I do recall that we spoke less and less, comfortable in the silence that only people who are close can share. We sat there swinging until well after midnight. From our vantage point we could take in people’s house lights and even see in a window or two at trees lit waiting for Santa and presents. No one else moved. No one else made a sound. No cars were on the street. It was as still and quiet as I have ever known. I was sure that everyone for miles around were all snug in their beds, save us.

I swung less and less, as did Gabe, until we just sat there, with our feet drawing meaningless hieroglyphs in the muddy snow. In that moment, in that cold dark night, I felt the sort of Christmas peace and deep serenity that tired old songs such as Silent Night sing about. The world ceased to matter. We were caught between youth and adulthood, with the cares of the latter waiting for another day. It was just me, my good friend and the night. The world about us shrank to a pinpoint and time seemed to stop. It felt like we were in a perfect snow globe, waiting for it to be shaken, but which never was.

Since that night, I have tried for, hoped for and looked for that same feeling to return. It never has, though I hold out hope that it may one day still. May you all know this feeling at least once in your lifetime………….Merry Christmas!