George Carlin on Science

On Energy:
“Electricity is really just organized lightning.”
On Human Intelligence:
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
On Intelligent life in the universe:
“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. “
On Meteorology:
“Weather forecast for tonight: dark.”
On Invention:
“When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I’m sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. “
On Aviation:
“If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff?”
On Nature:
“I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. It’s so f***in’ heroic.”
“It isn’t fair: the caterpillar does all the work, and the butterfly gets all the glory. “
and
“If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?”
On Electronics:
“Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?”
On Military Technology:
“The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, “You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I’m just not close enough to get the job done.”