Friday, February 15, 2008

If I were President

My most important priority: Pursuing renewable forms of energy, probably hydrogen, and instituting this nationwide, to reduce our dependence on oil. This will improve the environment and be good for our national security.

The war in Iraq: I would pull all my troops back to the border, ensure that no foreign instigators get in. Then I would let the different factions duke it out. Then when they are tired, I would come back in and beat the winner into obedience. I would then set up a government backing the clan that most reflects our values. I would then try to pull out of there as quickly as possible, but I would state for the record that we would not allow a Iranian type regime in power, ever.

The economy: I would scale back many of the stupid social programs, unfunded mandates and other ridiculous laws that dampen free enterprise, choke our businesses, clog up our legal system and reduce civil rights.

Healthcare: Healthcare is not a right, but at the same time it should be affordable. What makes it expensive are the insurance companies and liability issues on the part of doctors. I would minimize the role of the insurance company ( just in general, I hate them ) and can you say, TORT REFORM! No one in this country is ever responsible for their own shit, some else always is. Enough of that crap!

Crime: I would set up a panel to do a quick analysis of all the cases for those who sit on death row. If it is pretty clear cut that the sucker is guilty, I would line them all up on the Washington Mall, be sure to have called all the major media outlets, and then I would shoot them all in the back of the head on national TV. Can you say “deterrence”?

Government: Smaller government. I would shut down idiotic programs like the DMV
( I know these are state entities, but this is an example ).

Education; Hey, if you don’t like the education system where you live, then F’n move or do something about it! Busing kids elsewhere is stupid. You cant make someone learn, so tying teachers salaries to test scores is like tying a persons taxes to how much they take a dump.

Taxes: Ok, we gotta have them, but Jeez, can we make it so that the average American with a 16th grade education can at least figure this out?

Just some random thoughts inspired by our current national political debates.

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