Locus of Control

The age old conundrum, do we have free will or are we completely bound by fate, arose recently for me in some poignant and pointed conversations. When discussing with one friend the recent ill begotten series of events that befell another, that friend said to me, “well that person obviously made some bad choices”. Me, personally, I have never subscribed to the complete internal locus of control theory nor the complete external locus of control theory. One of my axioms is, “Life is 50% what you make of it and 50% what comes your way”, or put another way sometimes shit happens to you.

Where you are born and to whom plays a big role. It is one thing to be born in a white upper class family in the US and another thing entirely to be born to a poor family in New Delhi. Now, unless you subscribe to some sort of esoteric spiritual explanation, which I am willing to discuss but not endorse, a child has no control over these factors. To me, this alone disproves that we have complete control over our lives. I sometimes think about all the violin virtuosos out there who we will never know about because they have never had the opportunity to play a violin, where is personal choice there? On the other hand, to say that we are at all times and in all ways fated to an outcome beyond our control makes no sense to me either. For example, I can decide to quit my job at this second and there is nothing any external force can do about it. Again, one may argue that on some unseen cosmic level, it was already written that I would do so, but in the absence of some proof, hint or even a clue that such things are the case, it seems a more realistic and pragmatic thing to believe that I do at least have some form of control. If I don’t think in this way then suicide makes sense, because if I kill myself I was destined to do so, so why not?

Now, the question becomes, to what degree do we have control or are controlled? How much does nature play a role vs. nurture, as scientists are fond of asking? I don’t know and if I did know, I certainly wouldn’t have the space to write about it here. Suffice it to say, that I disagree and agree with my friend at the same time (who by the way was born, in my estimation with a silver spoon in her mouth and has, like Siddartha been kept away from many of the ills of this world). I will accede that my other friends’ woes are partly his fault, but at the same time, sometimes shit happens and sometimes it just happens to you.